Cancer is a curse. It arrives like a thief in the night. It interrupts your life. It alters your daily routine. It plays havoc with your emotions, your strength and your faith. Once one gets this devastating prognosis, one’s life is never the same.
In February 2005 we returned to Ottawa because Roger was having some health issues. He had been suffering from crippling migraines for over one year. In 2003, he had a detachment of the retina in his right eye. Surgery and recuperation were difficult. It required a second surgery and although the surgery was successful, the vision in his eye was diminished to only 25%.
After much prayer and seeking the Lord’s will, he felt it was time for us to come back to Ottawa. After living in San Diego for fifteen years, having our children and grandchildren in the same general area was a real blessing. About three months after we returned to Ottawa, his migraines completely disappeared. We really did not know what to think. We were happy that the migraines had left. Roger wondered if he had missed God's will by coming back to Ottawa. But by the end of 2005, we both knew he had heard from God by deciding to come home.
In November 2005, he had pneumonia. Even with two consecutives doses of antibiotics, the dry cough would not stop. His doctor sent him for a CT-Scan. In January 2006, to our great shock, he was diagnosed with Stage 3 lung cancer. Roger was a non-smoker. After weeks of chemotherapy, we were told that his tumor was inoperable. His oncologist ordered another series of chemotherapy along with radiation. After another bronchoscopy, I was sitting in his hospital room waiting for him to come back from the procedure. When the surgeon walked in the room with his assistant, I knew something was terribly wrong. He gave me all the medical information and then he held my hands, and he said: “Mrs. Deschamps, you are a strong woman, you have great faith. You will get through this, you will.” I knew what he meant. After he left, I just sat there and cried. When Roger came back to his room, the doctor had already talked to him. I gave him a hug and neither one of us spoke for quite a while. Nevertheless, this man of mine did not give up. More chemotherapy treatments were ahead of him. Each time he started a new session of treatment, the doctor would change the protocol. Roger was determined to fight this disease, for himself, for me, for our children and grandchildren. In total he went through seven protocols. In early summer of 2006, he got a good review. The tumor had shrunk. Sadly, the good news did not last long. By October the cancer was back in full force.
By the spring of 2007, he was now on oxygen and needed a tube on his right side to drain the liquid on his lungs. On Easter Sunday morning 2007, he suffered an embolism. Nevertheless, we kept believing for a miracle. Roger knew that medically he was not doing well. He told me a few times that without a miracle, he knew his chances were not very good.
In the fall of 2007, he was scheduled to start protocol #7. By this time, he was no longer able to drive. As I drove him to the hospital I asked him:“Honey, if this protocol does not work, what are we going to do?” He put his hand on my lap and with a very peaceful voice he said: “All is well with my soul.” I took a deep breath and kept driving, but not another word was said until we got to the hospital. By making that statement, I knew what Roger was trying to tell me. At that specific moment, my faith, my strength and my peace were probably at their lowest level. The words: All is well with my soul are words that were on my mind every day for the last few months I still had him with me.
After he died, I went online and searched for the words of that song and information about the man who wrote this song. His name was Horatio Spafford. This man knew the meaning of pain. As a lawyer in his early 40s, Spafford lived in the north side of Chicago with his wife, Anna and his five children. In 1870 their only son died from scarlet fever. A few months later, in 1871, he lost his entire life savings in the Great Chicago Fire. As a successful lawyer, he had invested heavily in real estate in the Chicago area, which was devastated by this disaster. *** Two years later, in 1873, the Spafford’s decided to go on a much-needed vacation to Europe on the SS Ville du Havre. Delayed by last minute business, he sent his wife and daughters ahead, promising to follow in a few days. On November 22, 1873, the ship was struck by an iron sailing vessel, the Loch Earn, and it sank into the Atlantic in just twelve minutes, killing 226 people on board. *** When the survivors of the shipwreck landed in Europe, Anna Spafford cabled her husband saying: “Saved alone. What shall I do?” All four of their daughters had died in this tragic accident.
Amid his great sorrow, he got on a ship to go join his wife in Europe. While passing near the place where his daughters had died, he was inspired to write the words to the hymn “It Is Well with My Soul”. *** Despite these series of tragic events, the Spafford’s later had three more children. Then in 1881, the family set sail for Jerusalem, along with baby Bertha and their newborn Grace. There they founded a group called the American Colony, whose mission was to serve the poor. ***
The lyrics in Spafford’s hymn reveal his attitude and approach with dealing with these very difficult trials. It also spoke of his determination to stay strong in all circumstances. This man was and still is an inspiration to us all! *** This man’s faith inspired me to stay strong and keep serving God. It is normal for us, young or old, to be overcome by our problems. Nevertheless, our attitude is a choice we make, no matter how difficult our circumstances can be. ***
Even though we may not have had all the answers to why God allows some to die untimely deaths, we always must remember that God knows what He is doing, and that in the end “all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28).
Over the years when a loved one died without a receiving a healing, Roger always said: “The biggest healing of all is to be in the presence of the Lord.” I really understand why his answer to me back in the fall of 2007 was: ALL IS WELL WITH MY SOUL.
On March 14, 2008, God took Roger to his heavenly home. He left knowing that all was well with his soul. Within a split second he went from thinking “All is well with my soul” to experiencing the reality of these words.
Words of this song:
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows roll,
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, “It is well, it is well, with my soul.”
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate, And has shed His own blood for my soul.
And, Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight, The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and
the Lord shall descend; Even so, it is well with my soul.
Sincerely,
Denise
***notes taken from an online article written about
Horacio Spafford
