They will have no fear of bad news; their
hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
Psalm
112:7 (NIV)
Cancer is a curse. It arrives like a thief in the night.
It interrupts your life. It alters your daily routine. It plays havoc with your
emotions, your strength and your faith. Once one gets this devastating
prognosis, one’s life is never the same.
In February 2005 we returned to Ottawa because Roger was having
some health issues. He had been suffering from crippling migraines for over one
year. In 2003, he had a detachment of the retina in his right eye. Surgery and
recuperation were difficult. It required a second surgery and although the
surgery was successful, the vision in his eye was diminished to only 25%.
After much prayer and seeking the Lord’s will, he felt it
was time for us to come back to Ottawa. After living in San Diego for fifteen
years, having our children and grandchildren in the same general area was a
real blessing. About three months after we returned to Ottawa, his
migraines completely disappeared. We really did not know what to think. We were
happy that the migraines had left. Roger wondered if he had missed God's will by
coming back to Ottawa. But by the end of 2005, we both knew he had heard from God
by deciding to come home.
In November 2005, he had pneumonia. Even with two
consecutives doses of antibiotics, the dry cough would not stop. His doctor
sent him for a CT-Scan. In January 2006, to our great shock, he was diagnosed
with Stage 3 lung cancer. Roger was a non-smoker. After weeks of chemotherapy, we were told that his tumor
was inoperable. His oncologist ordered another series of chemotherapy along
with radiation. After another bronchoscopy, I was sitting in his hospital room
waiting for him to come back from the procedure. When
the surgeon walked in the room with his assistant, I knew something was terribly
wrong. He gave me all the medical information and then
he held my hands, and he said: “Mrs.
Deschamps, you are a strong woman, you have great faith. You will get through this, you will.” I knew what he meant. After he left, I just sat there and cried. When Roger
came back to his room, the doctor had already talked to him. I gave him a hug
and neither one of us spoke for quite a while. Nevertheless, this man of mine
did not give up. More chemotherapy treatments were ahead of him. Each time he
started a new session of treatment, the doctor would change the protocol. Roger was determined to fight this disease, for himself, for me, for our children and
grandchildren. In total he went through seven protocols. In early summer of
2006, he got a good review. The tumor had shrunk. Sadly, the good news did not
last long. By October the cancer was back
in full force.
By the spring of 2007, he was now on oxygen and needed a
tube on his right side to drain the liquid on his lungs. On Easter Sunday
morning 2007, he suffered an embolism. Nevertheless,
we kept believing for a miracle. Roger knew that medically he was not doing
well. He told me a few times that
without a miracle, he knew his chances were not very good.
In the fall of 2007, he was scheduled to start protocol
#7. By this time, he was no longer able
to drive. As I drove him to the hospital
I asked him:“Honey, if this protocol does
not work, what are we going to do?” He put his hand on my lap and with a very
peaceful voice he said: “All is well with my soul.” I took a deep breath and kept driving, but not another
word was said until we got to the hospital. By making that
statement, I knew what Roger was trying to tell me. At that specific moment, my
faith, my strength and my peace were probably at their lowest level. The words:
All is well with my soul are
words that were on my mind every day for the last few months I still had him with
me.
After he died, I went online and searched for the words
of that song and information about the man
who wrote this song. His name was Horatio Spafford. This man knew the meaning of pain. As a lawyer in his early 40s, Spafford lived in the north side of
Chicago with his wife, Anna and his five children. In 1870 their only son
died from scarlet fever. A few months later, in 1871, he lost his entire
life savings in the Great Chicago Fire. As a successful lawyer, he had
invested heavily in real estate in the Chicago area, which was devastated by
this disaster. *** Two years later, in 1873, the Spafford’s decided to go on
a much-needed vacation to Europe on the SS
Ville du Havre. Delayed by last minute business, he sent his
wife and daughters ahead, promising to follow in a few days. On November
22, 1873, the ship was struck by an iron sailing vessel, the Loch Earn, and it sank into
the Atlantic in just twelve minutes, killing 226 people on board. *** When the survivors of the shipwreck landed in Europe,
Anna Spafford cabled her husband saying: “Saved alone. What shall I
do?” All four of their daughters had died in this tragic accident.
Amid
his great sorrow, he got on a ship to go join his wife in Europe. While passing
near the place where his daughters had died, he was inspired to write the words
to the hymn “It Is Well with My Soul”. *** Despite these series of tragic events, the Spafford’s
later had three more children. Then in 1881, the family set sail for Jerusalem,
along with baby Bertha and their newborn Grace. There they founded a
group called the American Colony, whose mission was to serve the poor. ***
The lyrics in Spafford’s hymn reveal his attitude and
approach with dealing with these very difficult trials. It also spoke of his
determination to stay strong in all circumstances. This man was and still is an
inspiration to us all! *** This man’s faith inspired me to stay strong and keep serving God. It is
normal for us, young or old, to be overcome by our problems. Nevertheless, our
attitude is a choice we make, no matter how difficult our circumstances can be.
***
Even though we may not have had all the answers to why
God allows some to die untimely deaths, we always must remember that God knows
what He is doing, and that in the end “all things work together for good to
those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28).
Over the years when a loved one died without a receiving
a healing, Roger always said: “The
biggest healing of all is to be in the presence of the Lord.” I really understand why his answer to me back
in the fall of 2007 was: ALL IS WELL
WITH MY SOUL.
On March 14, 2008, God took Roger to his heavenly home.
He left knowing that all was well with his soul. Within a split second he went
from thinking “All is well with my soul” to experiencing the reality of these
words.
Words of this song:
When peace, like a river, attendeth
my way, When sorrows like sea billows
roll,
Whatever my lot, Thou hast
taught me to say, “It is well, it is well, with my soul.”
Though Satan should buffet, though
trials should come, Let this blest assurance
control,
That Christ has regarded my
helpless estate, And has shed His own blood
for my soul.
And, Lord, haste the day when the
faith shall be sight, The clouds be rolled back as
a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and
the Lord shall descend; Even so, it is well with my soul.
Sincerely,
Denise
***notes taken from an online article written about
Horacio Spafford